24 May, 2004 - 8:03 p.m.

I started my final sculpture project for the semester. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm using my experience with Mitchell - the little boy we lost at work a few months ago - as a basis for it.

It's really based upon his father. The way he looked as he came through the doorway to the resuscitation room to face his dead son.

He was a big man, but he seemed shrunken. I want, desperately, to show his grief. That contrast between his strong shoulders and masculine body, and his complete fragility at that time.

I want it to be perfect. I want people to look at it and cry. To feel his pain.

And so nothing I do is good enough. I can't get it to be 'just so'. I look at it, and I see a wire sculpture. I don't see what I need to see.

Somehow I'd rather rip it all up and fail, than hand it in without its true purpose.

previous - next

diaryland